Relationships: A Blessing and A Curse?
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about relationships and why they have to be so hard.
It made me stop and think about whether relationships are hard or do we make them hard. If the honest answer is the latter, my question is, why is that?
Maybe because we fall in love with a total stranger who is so different than us - from the upbringing to the environment and culture, they grew up in, to the values and dreams that drive their actions.
As the initial state of attraction fades away and the day-to-day life problems start to creep in, that is when the rose-colored glasses disappear, and we start to see things for what they are.
It takes courage and curiosity to acknowledge the change and then to take appropriate actions that align with who we are and who we want to be when we’re in the relationship. Actions that bring happiness into our lives again.
Today, I’d like to share 5 steps for you to consider and, when you’re ready, to take action on.
Find a peaceful place to sit down, close your eyes, and remember the time when you met your partner/ spouse/ friend.
Reflect on why you chose this person. Is it because they had something special that piqued your interest? If so, what was that? Do you still see it when you look at them? Or did you, perhaps, lose sight of it amid everyday life?
Do you know what your values are that you live by? Are they different than your relationship values? Do you know what their values are? Are they aligned with yours? If so, how?
Do you both want and can give each other what you want based on those values?
Explore other aspects of your life. Do you recognize a similar pattern there?
When you’re ready, open your eyes and journal what you’ve learned.
Once you had a chance to reflect on what is not working, I’d invite you to be brave enough to sit across from your loved one and lovingly share your feelings, fears, and observations with them. You owned them that much.
And you own that to yourself.
