Which Threshold Are You Crossing Today?
About two years ago, I signed up for MIT’s “Mastering Design Thinking” course. I knew I had a lot of valuable skills, but somehow, I couldn’t put them together to bring a sense of flow, a sense of order. So I thought that by attending this workshop, I would learn how to create and manage a project or a service that ensured success.
In my years of study and work, I’ve noticed that whenever I decided to learn a new skill or take another course, there was a feeling of resistance. Sometimes, I would hesitate for a moment because of the fear of failing or looking bad in front of the class. In this case, I was entering a space I didn’t know much about. I was walking toward the unknown. I knew that to be able to succeed, I had to surround and commit myself to the work that lay ahead of me.
But facing the unknown wasn’t the only challenge I had. I had to face the internal voices as well, the voices that constantly told me that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t smart enough, I would never complete the course—the voices of doubt. And there were the external voices - my family, friends, and coworkers - telling me it was a waste of time and money. Sounds familiar?
But despite the voices and the stories the voices created, I was convinced I was on the right path. I was exactly when I needed to be. After all, I was on a quest to not only expand my knowledge and skillset but also to teach others the flow and guide them on their journey to turn a project into a success. With that in mind, I put my best foot forward toward the unknown, and, week by week, I went outside my comfort zone, met with people I’d never seen before, and completed a project that became close to my heart.
Have you ever felt a strong desire to answer that call, the call you can no longer ignore, the call that just kept coming back despite your most challenging effort to mute the sound and walk away as far as possible? Or have you ever answered the call and decided to step into the unknowns, to surround and commit despite all the voices and gentle hints from others?
Whether you are ready to answer the call or not, wherever you are on your journey today, I want you to know that you already have everything you need to accomplish what you set your mind on. You already have the skills, knowledge, and desire to fulfill your destiny; you can be successful in creating the business from your dreams; you can climb the career ladder of your choice; you can find the happiness and love you’re seeking in your life.
So why do so many of us never answer the call? Why do so many of us never go on the journey, the quest to find out what other possibilities exist for us? Why so many of us don’t stand up to the voices and listen to what they are trying to tell us? Is it because what lies on the other side is so foreign and scary that our saboteurs, our inner voice, don’t have a choice but to keep us safe where we are because it’s known, because it is familiar, because if safe?
In my journey to leadership and coaching, I often came across what Robert Ellis refers to as a threshold, a barrier. He refers to them as “walls, limits you can’t pass through. But a threshold is not a wall; it’s a doorway. It’s a place to notice, pause, learn what you can, and pass thought.”
There is a handful of thresholds we come across in our lives. He describes them as the Silliness threshold - the fear of not looking good; the Knowledge threshold - the fear of knowing too much or not enough; the Trust threshold - the fear of losing safety; the Sanity threshold - the fear of being overwhelmed; and my favorite - the Love threshold - the fear of being unlovable.
I invite you to take some time during this week and pay attention to the threshold you are currently in and write down all the feelings, the fears, the limitations, how it shows up - anything you can notice, and then ask yourself a question - Is it true? Is it really true?
