Just two more miles! What ‘hitting the wall’ taught me.
In 2014, around my birthday, I decided to run my first half marathon. I’ve never run a long distance, and I didn’t think I liked running enough to dedicate the next few months of my life to getting on a training schedule and running. But everybody around me was doing it, so I decided to do it as well. This a classic example of peer pressure, but this is not what I’m going to write about, at least not today.
Following my decision, I searched for a local race that I wanted to tackle. Once I found what I was willing to run, I registered and went to the local running store and got myself some running shoes and other recommended equipment. I was excited!
And then… I freaked out! I had no idea how to train and for how long? Where to go to get my miles in? Where do I even find time to train with a full-time job and a family to raise? And what about my body? Could it handle it? What if I get hurt? What if I don’t finish? And on and on… You get the picture.
So what happened to me when I allowed myself to become so overwhelmed by the thought of running a half marathon? Well, I found myself at a sanity threshold. Robert Ellis defines the sanity threshold as a feeling of being completely overwhelmed; if you go after what you want, you experience the fear of being way over your head and a mix of emotions such as fear, uncertainty, confusion, exhaustion, and doubt shows up at your door, uninvited.
As I progressed with my training, I experienced every single one of those emotions. There were times when, around mile ten, I was exhausted and full of doubt. I couldn’t do it! I was over my limits, I was on the verge of a breakdown, and ultimately, on the verge of quitting. But I’m not a quitting type, so I continue to push myself despite the mixed bag of emotions that show up every time I put my running shoes on.
On the day of the race, I was still filled with fear and uncertainty. I still didn’t know if I could even finish the race, but I knew the only way to find out was to go for it. So I did. And it was hard, but it was beautiful. At some point during the race, my fear and uncertainty, confusion and doubt were replaced by empowerment, tears of happiness, and of course, exhaustion - but the good type of exhaustion. Once I crossed the finish line, I was beyond myself with joy. I accomplished something I thought was only reserved for professional runners. My self-esteem and my belief system changed. I freed myself from self-limiting beliefs and stories I told myself over and over again.
So what were some things I did then and continue to do today whenever I find myself at the sanity threshold? For example, what helps me overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed is to develop a plan of action that will guide me through accomplishing my goal. When in my professional life, I’m tasked with a project that requires me to get out of my comfort zone, and I notice that I’m at the sanity threshold, I acknowledge the challenge and the feelings that show up with that acknowledgment, I ask myself questions - Why do I feel this way? What am I afraid of? Where do I need to go to get help? What do I need to do when I start doubting myself, my skills, and my knowledge? Who can support me on my journey - is it my manager, coach, friends, or maybe my partner?
Today, I’m not afraid to ask for help when I find myself at the sanity threshold. Today I know that asking for help is not a sign of my weaknesses but a sign of my internal strength. Today I’m not afraid to raise my hand and say, “I don’t know. I need your help. Can you help me because I feel overwhelmed?”
I know what resources are available to me at the reach of my hand, as long as I’m willing to ask for them and as long as I’m willing to continue to do my work instead of throwing my hands in the air, saying, “I quit!”
I’m curious what actions do you take when you find yourself at the sanity threshold? What actions could you take that would allow you to move through the sanity threshold? And lastly, what steps will you take that will take you closer to fulfilling your dreams and creating the life you love?
