Your Soul is Calling… Are You Going to Answer It?
During my most recent Secrets to the Leadership training session, I covered the aspects of thresholds. As I was describing each threshold to the leaders gathered in the room, I could see the “aha moments” on their faces or in their body language as they recognized the times when they also found themselves at each of these thresholds in their personal or professional life.
When I asked them to identify and write down the most recent situation at home or at work that was uncomfortable or difficult — may be the most recent difficult conversation with their employee, upcoming performance review, or sharing their vision with the team — they not only identified the situation but also they wrote, and later shared with the rest of the group, the threshold(s) they found themselves at.
For me, thresholds are like stories. When we come across a difficult situation, or when we lack knowledge or expertise, or maybe based on our experience, we know too much, perhaps we’re afraid of how others are going to see us and what they will think of us, we might feel scared, lost, overwhelmed or alone, unloved, we start with a story that goes like this. I can’t do it! I’m not smart enough, strong enough, or lovable — we convince ourselves that we are not enough to tackle the problem.
I’m curious, when you find yourself in a situation like this, what do you notice, what is happening to you, and what emotions start showing up for you?
When I find myself at any of those thresholds, I notice a story building inside my head. Some of the stories might be related to being a leader, showing us for my team fully and lovingly, standing behind my values, and letting my voice be heard. As a manager, I made decisions that impacted not only my team but also the organization and other members of the communities. I’m allowing myself to stand in my power, knowing I know enough to make a good decision, speak openly, and provide feedback. As a parent, it’s essential for me to show up the same way — fully and lovingly, despite the challenging behavior of a teenager, knowing that my actions or words might not be accepted but are often necessary.
As a parent, leader, and coach, my purpose is to help others to navigate these thresholds, these stories, and help them to find a way to disentangle themselves from their thoughts, limiting beliefs, and identities they adopted, so they can start creating the life they are longing for, the life that is calling them.
Every day, in my personal or professional life, I find myself at a threshold; I notice a feeling in my body and a story in my head. Today I know that this is an opportunity for me to reflect on what is happening, where my feelings or reactions are coming from, and what stories I am allowing myself to hear and believe in.
Because each story is designed to keep me safe, each story and each belief I have is an opportunity for the fear to show up in full swing and knock me down. Each story can overpower me if I give in and give up.
So, if my story resonates with you, I want to ask you the same question as Byron Katie asks her followers — who would you be without that story?
Are you really, truly, unlovable? Are you truly incapable of learning, exploring, believing, or changing?
I believe most of us have a choice when we’re presented with an opportunity. We can choose to progress, learn, explore, and grow, or we can choose to stay where we are, frozen in place, unable to step forward, giving in to our fears and stories.
Yes, we don’t know what awaits on the other side, and that thought might be scary. Yes, it takes courage and curiosity to explore what lies ahead and what opportunities are available to us on the other side of the fear.
But we have the inner power to face our fears and take one small step forward.
Sometimes that’s all that it takes. The biggest, smallest step — a step that you know you can take because it still is within your comfort zone, but it’s actually going to make an impact, a step that will move you closer to your goal.
In each of us, there is a tiny being, a quiet voice, that, once in a while, speaks up and urges us to listen. Sometimes, when we feel courageous, we allow that voice to be heard, and we take action — to move to a new city, to find a new job, to walk away from, or to enter a new relationship. But more often than not, we allow this voice to be ignored; we find ways to silence that calling, that longing, by telling ourselves that we don’t deserve it, we don’t have enough skills, knowledge, or wisdom to do anything with it. And by silencing that calling, we create a void in our souls. Sometimes we try to fill that void with long work hours, a busy schedule, or an overwhelming number of after-work activities. Or we might choose to shut the doors and windows and our hearts to the rest of the world and alienate ourselves from the rest of the communities that once were very important to us.
If you find yourself at the threshold that feels so overwhelming that you don’t know which way to turn or you think you can’t do anything about it, I’d like to invite you to consider this — you have a choice. Just because you believe this is how your life is, this is who you are, or there is nothing else out there for you, I’d invite you to pause and remind yourself that you have a choice to change all of it! And if you do, when you decide you’re ready to start creating the life that is calling you, step by step, moment by moment, reach out, and we can do it together.
I’d also like to invite you, as you notice you just came across the threshold, to write down all the feelings, the fears, the limitations, how it shows up, where it shows up — anything you can notice, and then ask yourself a question — Is it true? Is it really true?
Then you can just decide, are you ready to answer your calling?
