I’m Ready to Have My Voice Heard!

Recently, I’ve discovered that if I’m not challenged - I struggle. I get bored; I develop a sense of staleness and slowness. I can almost feel my energy draining from every pore on my skin. So I procrastinate, dragging my feet till the clock says, “You can go home now.”

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t say I like that feeling. I like action; I love to be surrounded by people and be amidst brainstorming sessions to discover the solution to the problem of the organization's current situation. This is my thing. This is when I know I thrive.

It wasn’t always like that. I used to be uncomfortable when people asked me to participate in a brainstorming session or when they asked about my opinion. I was paralyzed when every person in the room turned to have a better view of me as I melted in my seat from embarrassment. It wasn’t until I was told by my mentor that I needed to be OK with experiencing some discomfort to grow. But I knew my issue wasn’t just the unwillingness to experience some discomfort. It was the lack of self-confidence that I had something to share with the world that others wanted to hear.

When I first discovered my passion for problem-solving and recognized the ability (I always had but chose to ignore) for being able to listen to the needs, summarize the needs back to the customer or a team member and then provide a handful of options, I started to feel more confident, supported. I finally felt like I was part of a team. I learned to ask questions and offered my support, so I didn’t get bored anymore. But that came with the self-realization that asking for more work doesn’t mean I can’t organize my day or find more work to do - one of the limiting beliefs that kept me from exploring and running experiments to do and learn more.

I knew that if I wanted to thrive in the workplace and my personal life, I needed to be OK with the new situation's discomfort. Without getting out of my COMFORT ZONE, it’s hard to create the life I love.

Maybe you can relate to the story I just shared…

Maybe you too feel uncomfortable in public speaking or worried that your idea will go unnoticed or unrecognized. Maybe you too want to keep your mouth shut from the fear of embarrassment, or perhaps you know precisely what to do, but you lack the confidence to take action.

You know better than anyone else what keeps you away from thriving.

If my story resonates with you, I want you to know that you are not the only person in the world with those feelings - nor should you have it all figured out. But there is an opportunity here for you to shift all of this, just like I did and many of my clients!

It took quite a bit of courage to start my journey. However, when I finally decided to be honest with myself about what was TRULY causing this unfulfilling reality, I started experiencing so much more joy and playfulness and seeing opportunities in my life where my ideas could benefit not only my life and the life of others. I also was able to become the leader I always wanted to be! Instead of carrying the stress of speaking up or guilt for staying quiet, I could finally make decisions from a place of empowerment and curiosity.

So with the new year, I decided to set aside some time on my calendar for the next week to help six intelligent, ambitious, and curious but shy individuals to shift from an unfulfilling reality to one that is ideal and purposefully created for every area of their lives.

In this 90-minute, completely complimentary, and transformational sessions, we will work together to:

• Have clarity on your purpose and vision for your life, career, and relationships so you know what you want to create and how to do it.

• Uncover hidden ways you may be holding yourself back from speaking up and how you could shift the way how you show up and speak up from coming from a place of fear or scarcity to a place filled with excitement, creativity, and fulfillment.

• How to create a roadmap for you to experience more satisfaction, happiness, and clarity in your life without sacrificing your results.

If what you read here today resonates with you AND you feel this could be an incredible opportunity to experience a powerful transformation, don’t wait!

Remember, there are only six available slots, so to get yours before they are gone, email me, and I’ll get you the details to reserve your spot. I’ll take this post down once the spots are gone.

New Year, New Goals!

With the new year, we are setting up new goals that we want to accomplish within the next twelve months. Sometimes, we might decide to carry over the goals that weren’t completed last year or things that we wanted to accomplish years prior but never found the right time to make a priority.

Have you ever felt you can’t wait to set goals at the beginning of the year? Could you feel the new year's energy that opens the doors to endless opportunities and possibilities? As if the ball that drops in New York Times Square, as a symbol of the start of the new year, hits the reset button at midnight.

Whether your goal is to find a new job, enroll in university, start a new career, strengthen a relationship, lose extra pounds, or want to become a better person, better leader, or a better parent - whatever that is for you, I applaud you for taking the first step and creating the goals to help you with creating the life you love.

But the new year's energy fades with time, and we often lose interest or put our goals aside within the first few weeks for different reasons. Sometimes it’s too hard to work toward the goals. Other times we lose motivation, start seeing it as a chore, convince ourselves we don’t have time to work on that, or we might not have the right support to encourage us to keep going.

I used to not believe in setting personal goals, not formally. I saw them as chores that I couldn’t get away from fast enough, weren’t fun to do, or were too hard to accomplish. I had all this great intention of setting them up in my mind, goals that would be nice to get around - finish the book or start exercising regularly, implement a more balanced diet, spend more time with my family, and learn new leadership tricks. I often justified my lack of actions with a simple statement “goals are just statements written on a piece of paper designed to make me feel bad about myself if I don’t fulfill them by the end of the year.”

Sounds familiar?

But something changed a couple of years ago when I got my first journal. As I went through the internal transformation, I decided not only to record my activities, thoughts, feelings, and events but also to set goals for the new year. Finally, I was ready to reinvent myself and my life. I started small. During the first year, I came up with three goals that I wanted to accomplish. I purposefully designed them to be manageable but with a bit of a stretch that would take me out of my comfort zone but not so far that I would want to run away and hide again. I decided to break down each goal into a set of small steps, the biggest, smallest steps that would make an impact and take me out of my comfort zone (biggest) but were doable and manageable (smallest, I knew I couldn’t fail). Being able to break them down like this removed the fear and the sense of being overwhelmed, lost or confused. Instead, it brought clarity, a sense of ownership, accomplishment, and fun!

If you are ready to try something new this year, you can go for it and create a few goals you want to set for yourself. And don’t forget to bring some playfulness to the goal-setting process and then again as you work towards accomplishing them before the end of the year. Remember, goals don’t have to be serious; they don’t have to be big and audacious. You are not entering the competition; nobody says “And The Oscar Goes To…” based on who accomplished the most goals in the year; you are not competing against anyone. You are doing this for your benefit! So design your personal or professional goals for your own sake, health, and love for yourself and your life.

I’m curious, what goals will you create for this year? What steps will you take to continue to work towards accomplishing them before the end of the year? What actions will you take to make this journey playful yet challenging? Who are you going to ask to be your supporter, your cheerleader when things get tough?

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best in the New Year and your new journey to Creating the Life you Love!

And Your First Domino Is…

My coworkers used to call me Mayor Miller, and I always had a pretty good laugh about it. That was before even I thought about becoming a leader; it wasn’t part of my vision. I asked them why they called me that, and they gave me examples of how great of a leader I already was. I was kind and patient; I always had time for them to listen to their stories or struggles in their personal or professional life. I didn’t mind taking my time and helping them with a project or brainstorming a solution. As I thought more about what they said, I decided to sign up for the upcoming supervisory training. There was no way I could become a supervisor at my current job, but I knew I wouldn’t be working there forever. I had nothing to lose and maybe something to gain.

As time went by, I took leadership training, signed up to be part of the Women Leadership group and other committees, and asked leaders I had already built a relationship with what else I needed to do to be ready and to be qualified to become the leader. I realized I couldn’t let it go, so I went on a quest to discover the calling. I continued to absorb knowledge from everything and everyone. I was driven and dedicated. I wanted to become a leader who could help others in the workplace, especially those whose skills are often overlooked because of bias. Every night I imagined getting the job as a leader and making a change in the organization. My imagination had no limits, but sure it didn’t match reality. Many disappointments later, I finally got my first job as a manager.

That was over a decade ago.

When Steve Chandler interviewed Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the 1970s, Steve asked him what his plan was after he retired from bodybuilding. Arnold said he would be “the number-one box-office star in all of Hollywood.” A little baffled, Steve asked him how he was going to do it, to which Arnold replied:

“It’s the same process I used in bodybuilding. What you do is create a vision of who you want to be, and then live into that picture as if it were already true” (Steve Chandler, “100 Ways to Motivate Yourself”).

Have you ever imagined yourself following your dream, having a dream job that brings the feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment? Have you ever created a vision of the life you’d love and lived and breathed that vision every day?

When I started my leadership journey, I didn’t think about having a vision and following it. Yes, I imagined being a leader, but I had no idea what kind of effect imaging has on your brain and heart. I just knew I wanted to be a leader, and there was a process that I needed to follow to get the job I wanted. It was that simple.

A few years ago, as I was going through difficult times, I started to practice meditation, read self-discovery books and learned from Brené Brown and Simon Sinek. I began to practice what Arnold talked about in the 70s, mindfully imagining myself being the person, mother, friend, leader, and coach I wanted to be. I was already that person in my vision as the reality unfolded in front of my eyes.

It took time, dedication, and often courage to open your heart and let the walls go down. The job is not done and never will be completed because there is always so much more internal work that I’m looking forward to doing.

I’m honored to be part of the community of people who chose me as their coach or leader. It’s a privilege to sit across from them, listen to their stories, and watch them grow and transform. I’m proud of myself for finding the courage to stay on this not-so-easy journey, follow my calling, and stay open-hearted.

What is the smallest step you can take to move closer to your dream? What changes could you make in your day-to-day life to start creating the life you love? What is the first domino I can help you to knock down that will help to set your dream in motion?

Remember, begin before you are ready!

Fish and kids don’t have a voice.

I’m a lifelong learner, so when the opportunity comes to learn something new, I’m all over it! I spent Saturday afternoon in a virtual workshop surrounded by fourteen incredible women learning how to recover my authentic voice's power. Over the last few years, as I’ve been learning how to become more “me” (aka recovering from the belief that I should be like others), I’ve also pondered how I let my true voice free in the most authentic way. 

Have you ever found yourself in the corner of the conference room during a brainstorming session, wanting to share your great idea, but your inner critic was serving you all the reasons why you shouldn’t speak up? Have you ever felt like your ideas were overlooked or ignored, but when somebody else said it, it came with much approval or recognition, leaving you… baffled? Or you wanted to share your wisdom that came from your heart, your experience, and your knowledge, but instead, you stayed silent from the fear of being too much, keeping your mouth shut, and just agreeing with everyone else? 

I always knew I had a powerful voice. I’m not talking about the sound of my voice or my accent; rather, my authentic voice, the one that comes from the deep parts of my heart and my soul, colored by my life experiences and the choices I made. Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “Fish and kids don’t have a voice.” That message carried out with me for most of my life, living in the depth of my subconscious. I consciously had to remind myself to speak my truth using my authentic voice despite all the reasons I should be quiet. It wasn’t always easy, but so very important.

When I use my authentic voice, I can be the leader, partner, business owner, and parent I want to be, and I need to be for my team and my family. When I choose to use my voice, I make decisions without second-guessing my choices; I use my imagination and curiosity to overcome my fear of being seen for who I am. When I write, I ground myself, draw my breath, open my heart and let my voice fly without being afraid to speak my mind and share my challenges with the world, knowing that my story can help others. When I set my vision in action, I guide others to success; when I brainstorm freely with my team without any judgment, I often thank my inner critic, who wants to protect me from the danger of being seen and heard. There are so many beautiful benefits of letting my voice fly freely.

I know it’s not easy to speak from my heart, to let my authentic voice be heard. There will always be those who choose to disagree with me or make me feel like I don’t know what I’m talking about. And it’s up to me how I react to the situation - do I let them take me down because I believe their words over my truth, or do I stand in my power, owning my power, believing that I have a right to speak using my authentic voice?

I continue reminding myself that to be a successful leader supported by a strong, innovative, and dedicated team, I need to own my voice, passion, and vision and speak of it often so others - and I - don’t lose sight of it. I give myself permission to follow my dream to be the best leader for my team, to be the best parent for my kids, and the best coach for my clients. This is what makes me different and unique from everyone else - my authentic voice. So instead of trying to sound like everyone else, I choose to embrace my voice every chance I get.

I’m curious, instead of holding your voice back, what could you do instead? How could you embrace your authentic voice and let it be heard? What actions could you take to express the new aspect of yourself? What is the smallest step you can take toward releasing your inner voice? 

Instead of holding your voice back, you play with it and have fun letting your voice be heard, if only during dinner with your family or a 1:1 meeting with your most trusted employee. Be a little more playful, allow yourself to be a little more joyful, bring some fun to the conversation, and create a safe environment where you can express your ideas and creativity in a true, authentic way, if only for this one meeting, if only for today.

I can’t wait to hear your voice!

Begin before you are ready.

Two months ago, I wrote the article below and decided to repost it and provide an update on what has changed for me in the last two months. Every day I can make a conscious choice in my life; I can choose liberation and love instead of fear of rejection and imperfection. Fear is part of our lives — there is not much we can control, but we have control over how we react and respond to fear.

Edith Eger, in her book “The Gift,” said:

“Fear uses the most insistent, relentless, provocative words: what if, what if, what if? When fear comes like a panic storm, and your body shakes and your heart races and the trauma you already survived threatens to swallow you, take your own precious hand and say, “Thank you, fear, for wanting to protect me.” Then say, “That was then, this is now.” Say it over and over again. You already made it. Here you are. Wrap your arms around yourself and run your own shoulders. “Attagirl,” you say. “I love you.”

Growing up, I believed I wasn’t special and was often reminded of it.  With time I created a belief that I wasn’t good enough to be successful or, better yet, to find someone who would love me just the way I was.  As time passed, I was convinced I needed someone else who’d filled this hole in my heart.  I believed I needed others like I needed oxygen.  It became my identity.

I was always there for people, even if that meant giving away a piece of my soul.  I was hungry for love and acceptance.  I neglected my boundaries and integrity just to be loved, belong, and be enough.  Struggling with self-love and self-acceptance became the biggest struggle in my personal and professional life. 

Even when I found the perfect guy and got the ideal job, my happiness and fulfillment continued to be out of reach; my life continued to be filled with loneliness, compromises, misunderstandings, and miscommunications.  I continued to feel lost and out of alignment.

Have you ever felt you couldn’t be yourself at home while surrounded by your loved ones or friends?  Or at work where being yourself wasn’t accepted or “required”?  Have you ever been told that to be loved or successful, you needed to adjust to the “norm,” keep your mouth shut, be different, or be more like…?

What if I told you that all of this is just nonsense, and YOU have the power to change it?

In mid-2020, I was miserable at work, AND my romantic relationship just came to an end.  I returned to the empty house where the memories of my happiness swirled around.  I tried to keep my life together for the sake of my two beautiful children, but I was on autopilot.  I cooked and cleaned; I drove them to and from school and asked about their days.  But inside, I was empty, broken, and alone.  I slowly closed doors to my friends, family, and coworkers.  I just wanted to be alone.  I kept asking myself how this came to be my life.  Couldn’t it be just them?  And if not them, then what’s wrong with ME?  Still broken and weak, I decided something had to change.  I had to change!

I went on a self-discovery journey before I was ready.  I took the smallest step in my recovery and found a therapist, then a coach.  I started reading a lot to realize how broken I was and how much trauma I’ve carried inside my heart for most of my life.  I slowly transformed myself and my life.  It was the most challenging job I’ve ever done. 

I choose to share my journey to self-acceptance with you to show what is possible. I show up in my personal and professional life open, vulnerable, loving, caring, kind, and at peace.  Every day I choose to create a beautiful life for myself and my two amazing kids with INTEGRITY, lots of LOVE, and PLAYFULNESS knowing that I’m enough!  I have new beliefs. I created a new identity.

This transformation led me to set my compass toward a new horizon.  I'm on a mission to empower females who are ready to go on a transformation journey despite the beliefs and identities that were passed down to them.  I’m excited to work with driven, committed, and hardworking individuals who want to fulfill their destinies but are told their dream has no place to live.  I support those ready to strip away limiting beliefs and identities around success, leadership, and power that hold them back from creating the life they love while being bold and unapologetic for who they are.

If you’re ready to let go of beliefs that keep you “safe” from creating the life you love or building a business from your dreams, drop a note below and share the first step you are CHOOSING to take today.  However small, however big!  You got this!

The Life of a Marionette

I used to love playing with marionettes or puppets when I was a kid. I loved to use my imagination to make wooden dolls or animals come to life. I spent hours in the imaginary world full of joy and laughter, unexpected guests, and even unfortunate events. There was no limitation on what I could do; the stories just came to life.

Until just recently, I never actually thought about it. As I was reflecting on my life’s journey, I tried to find what the most important events of my life had in common; the events that made an impact on my personal life, my career advancement, education, and even my relocation across the ocean in searching for a different life. What I discovered was hard to accept.

From adolescence to adulthood, I constantly gave my powers away, thinking that others knew better what I could and couldn’t do, who I should and shouldn’t be or love, what education was best for me, and what career track I should put myself on. How sad that is, and yet so familiar.

My parents wanted me to open a restaurant (my mom is an excellent cook), but I had no interest in cooking. But I went to culinary school because they had that power over me. Four years later, I tried to continue my culinary journey and applied to college to get the decree that would allow me to fulfill my mom’s dream. I tried for two years with the same results — rejection! The rejection wasn’t just an external event announced by the official letter from the university but also made an impact internally. It was official — I wasn’t good enough!

Fast-forwarding to the most recent years, as I was climbing the leadership ladder, I continued to give my powers away to others, sometimes unknowingly or unwillingly, other times being fully aware of my actions. Others would tell me how to manage and what I needed to do to continue to grow, and I would follow their lead, believing they had my best interest in mind. I felt like this brainless marionette moving along as others pulled the strings attached to the body of a doll, day after day, not trusting myself, not believing in my abilities and skills but looking for ways to be validated, loved, accepted, respected, and seen.

Have you ever felt like a marionette or a puppet in your job, life, or relationship? Have you ever given your powers away to others, allowing others to control your every move and every decision from the fear of rejection?

Then you know how it feels.

I lived in a place of scarcity for most of my life until the day when my life crumbled around me, laying silently at my feet. At that point, I had nothing else to lose. I decided to seek help, to find someone who would help me through the darkest times of my life that lie ahead. Eventually, I was ready to accept that I had a choice; I could take those powers back and own my own life for the first time ever! That realization came with a feeling of liberation. Liberation from being a marionette.

I went on a self-discovery journey, the only journey I could take to the deepest and scariest parts of my heart and mind. It was an internal job, but I knew that for me to succeed, I needed to do something very hard for me to do — ask for help. Just because it was a self-discovery journey didn’t mean I couldn’t or shouldn’t ask others for help. So I surrounded myself with people who already saw me for who I truly was and wanted to help and support me on my journey. They walked alongside me, loved me, and encouraged me not to give up on being myself again.

It was and continues to be a long and scary journey. Facing my self-judgments, limiting beliefs, false identities, fears, and the stories my mind constantly creates continues to be a series of experiments that lead to my own transformational, beautiful journey to self-love and bravery, learning how to own my uniqueness and, mostly, how to feel like I’m enough. I could finally start showing up as myself, following my heart, passion, purpose, and my why. After all, I’m a leading lady; I choose courage over comfort.

What is the smallest string you could cut today that would take you closer from giving your powers away to bringing them where they belong? Could you think of a person or two who could support you on the self-discovery journey? If so, could you ask them to be there for you as you’re getting ready to go on a journey to liberation to start creating the life you love?